“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong…Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”
- Thich Nhat Hanh

We all know at least one person who always seems negative. They seem to complain about everything. The weather. Their children. Their jobs. After a while, you notice that all they do is talk about things they don’t enjoy.

What’s worse is that they seldom do anything about the things that bother them. They stay in jobs they hate and relationships that don’t bring them joy.

Not only is this frustrating, it is incredibly draining. Being around negative people saps your energy. In makes you feel tired and pretty soon, you may start to believe the same things about your life. On the other hand, surrounding yourself with positive people can also influence your life for the better.

Are you constantly around negative people?

Here are some tips on handling them or other conversations that sap your energy and don’t inspire success.

1) Steer the conversation. If a friend starts being negative, try to steer the conversation in a more positive way. For example, if a friend starts complaining about the rain say, “Yes, but I love the way it makes all my flowers grow.”

For every negative thing you hear, retaliate with a positive take on the situation. Perhaps the person doesn’t realize just how negative they really are.

2) Avoid gossip. Gossip is a form of negativity. Unfortunately, it’s everywhere. Gossip newspapers line the shelves at the supermarkets. A family calls you with the latest family “news”. A coworker wants to tell you about another coworker. Not only does gossiping waste precious time, it isn’t healthy.

Politely tell people that you aren’t interested in gossip and will form your own opinions about people.

Also avoid celebrity gossip, as this can be just as damaging to your life. Gossip often breeds envy when in reality, you can accomplish things in your life as long as you tear yourself away from the television or gossip magazines.

3) Just say no. If someone is persistently negative around you, don’t be afraid to tell them that you don’t appreciate it. Of course, try to find a diplomatic way to say so. Explain that you generally like to look at life in a positive way and you feel that their comments are damaging.

4) Try to understand. It may help if you try to understand why someone is being negative. Maybe there is something you can do to try to help them? There are many root causes to negativity. These include abusive relationships, discontent, or clinical depression.

Perhaps if they realize that someone generally wants to see them happy, they will change. Don’t invest too much of your energy in this, though. Often, negative people don’t really change because they don’t want to. Trying to help can be just as much of an energy drain as actually listening to their comments.

5) Be positive. If you realize that you have a problem with negativity, don’t try to change all at once. This is a bad habit that can be broken, it just takes time. Start out by promising yourself that you will say one positive thing each day. If you catch yourself thinking something negative about the weather, turn it into a positive, for example. After you get comfortable, say two positive things. Continue increasing until you are free of your habit.

Just be careful not to confuse negativity with honesty and constructive criticism.

People that are truly honest and tell you the truth, even if it’s something that you don’t want to hear, are being true friends.

Those that only tell you what you want to hear may not really have your best interest in mind.